didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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