worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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