North Korea, Best Korea!
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
