This house was built for laser tag.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
