i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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