We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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