Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
