I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
