he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
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