I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
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