Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
