I just threw up on my dentist
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
