so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
