so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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