I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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