Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
