hell yes lets make some ravioli
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
