I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
