totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
