Her vagina should come with caution tape.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
