Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
