if only i could text you this smell
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
