Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
