The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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