Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Randomize
