Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
