Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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