youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Randomize
