nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Randomize
