Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
