thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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