you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
