New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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