Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
they call him Oral-B. enough said
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
