real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
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