I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
It's never too late to be topless.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize