dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
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