Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
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