pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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