I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
