hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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