When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
