ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
