Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
