so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Randomize
