I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
