i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
