i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
