Girls should come with a carfax report
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
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