That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
im on a boat
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