I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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