You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
