You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Randomize
