I murdered the dance floor call the cops
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
