am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
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