I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
