I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
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