Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I think I am morally bankrupt
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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