I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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