and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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