I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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