Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Randomize
