she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
This is the high leading the old right now
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
