hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
