The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
