Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize