yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize