4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Randomize
